What To Do After A Break Up? Start Today!
It is an almost unavoidable part of your life: You fall in love, but then you also have your heart broken. Maybe that special relationship has ended and you weren’t expecting it. Then again, has it really? What’s really involved in figuring out what to do after a break up anyhow?
Does it mean getting back together after a break up is possible? Or does the better choice mean moving on after a break up? Maybe it’s somewhere in between?
It is not unusual to be in a bit of a daze when something like this happens to you so unexpectedly. You might even pinch yourself to make sure that it isn’t some kind of bad dream.
However, before you even attempt to restore the relationship you should figure out how the break up even happened. The only way to actually answer this question is being honest with yourself and actually look at yourself in the mirror.
Start With Yourself
What role did you play in the break up? It could have been something you were doing or maybe something you were not doing. Heck, you may even discover that what you did or didn’t do is something that you would repeat given the chance. Getting a grip on the causes of the break up is a crucial first step in knowing what to do after a break up.
Next, ask yourself do you want to reunite with your ex at all? At first, you probably feel a strong impulse to do whatever it takes to make that happen. Be careful though.
Do you want to get back together because he/she is gone, because you think that you can’t have them anymore? Or, perhaps you saw your ex with someone else and now it’s jealousy that is getting the better of you.
Neither of these are very good reasons to reunite (in fact they stink!), and will only lead to another inevitable break up. In short, be sure you want your ex back for the right reasons.
Taking Baby Steps…Slowly
Before you jump right back into any sort of reconciliation, it’s better to meet under platonic, almost business-like circumstances. You can still have fun, but make sure it’s as just as friends and with no expectations involved.
A key part of actually doing this is to make sure that your first meetings are in a neutral, non-threatening situation. You don’t want your ex to feel as though they are being pressured or manipulated during the meeting. Of course, you don’t want that for yourself either.
Let me be clear about something at this point in the discussion. If the break up occurred because of an abusive dynamic taking place, maybe any sort of post break up contact or communication is not worth doing. It doesn’t matter whether you were the target or the source of the abuse. I’m also not limiting myself to gender either way.
If you were the target, I beg you to not allow yourself to think that you somehow deserved such treatment and/or at fault. Keep your distance physically and communication-wise from your ex (male or female) for a long while, if not for good. It is crucial to your healing process.
On the other hand if you were the source of the abuse, you need to take a cold, hard look at yourself. What kinds of past experiences are you allowing to prompt you to mistreat others? Who else in your life are you treating badly and why?
Look, I’m no professional therapist in any way nor can I tell you how to feel after a break up. I’m just a man, husband and dad; an ordinary guy. There are so many things to do after a break up.
I’m here to just provide my 2 cents for you, dear reader, about what to do after a break up. Of course, you are free to respond to your break up as you choose. Regardless, I hope I’ve helped provide a little more clarity about the choices that you do make.
Get More Wisdom
However, if you are looking for a lot more depth about healing after a break up then I can suggest another resource.
That would my colleague, TW Jackson. You can call him T Dub.
Ever since 2008, he’s helped thousands of men and women in difficult situations like yours. He can help you too.
Listen my friend, you are not alone. Great, life-changing wisdom is just moments away by going here.
Please don’t hesitate!